Extramarital Affair – Whirlwind of Emotions
It was but obvious
that Chandini was terribly distracted and even though her face was a mirror of
calm; her eyes gave her away at times. Those who knew her well had to just look
into her eyes to know what she was feeling. Nevertheless, Chandini pushed
herself to remain unruffled and distant from the storm that was raging through
her heart.
Walking across to the
bay windows, Chandini put down her mug of coffee and stared wistfully into the
horizon. Moody, her faithful shadow slumped down on the rug and lay across her
feet like he always did. How she loved this view and never tired of it. The
mountains with their shiny white tops and glistening snow even miles away
always brought a smile to her face. She looked down at her hands and was taken
aback to see them trembling. Reaching out to Moody, she patted his head and
scratched his ears in an effort to stop her hands shaking. “You are such a lazy
cocker Moody…always ready for a free scratch, right!”
“What’s the matter
with me? Why am I behaving in this manner?” thought Chandini to herself. She
shivered under the cotton sweatshirt even though the winter chill was yet to
set in. Watching the sun trying to peek through the mist, a few rays of
sunshine caught the tendrils across her face illuminating the warmth of her
personality across the room.
Her glance kept going
to the bookshelf across the room where she had left her phone. It took all her
inner strength to stop herself from getting up and grabbing the phone and
looking at it as she had been doing so continuously since the past few days.
She was sick and tired of doing this…sick and tired of the waiting and sick and
tired of playing these games. Unfortunately, the shrill ring of her mobile made
her jump out of her skin and shook her out of her thoughts as she made her way
to answer the call.
Minutes later, post a
rather short and sweet and to the point work call, she placed the phone back on
the shelf. She willed herself to not check her phone to see if he had replied.
It had been about three days now. She hated that she was constantly checking
his ‘last seen at’ status and yes, he had logged in just five minutes ago. Yet
she couldn’t stop herself. This sinking feeling to find absolutely no
communication from him was becoming unbearable, almost torturous.
And then, just as she
sat down in her chair, her phone vibrated. With her heart thudding in her ear,
she unlocked her phone and stared at the screen. Finally! It was his message.
But when she opened it
and read it, she nearly stopped breathing. She didn’t know if he was joking or
not. What was this?
The words stared back
in her face…the whirlwind of emotions swirling through her were worse than a
roller-coaster ride. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past few days and I
feel it would be best if I go back to my wife. It’s been a very tough decision
for me but it would be unfair on my part to leave Ananya at this stage. It
breaks my heart but I have to put an end to our relationship. Best if we have
no further contact. I know you are very strong Chandini and will handle it
better than me. Hope you can forgive me one day. Yours, Viraaf.”
What the hell did all
this even mean? And what did the ‘Yours’ at the end of the message even define
when he was bringing everything to an end. Chandini tried to make sense of the
message… Reading and re-reading every word… A mixture of anger and sadness
making her eyes moist till she felt tears roll down her face. A pair of eyes
were fixed firmly on her, watching her like a hawk and it is really uncanny how
perceptive dogs are to emotions, especially of their loved ones. Suddenly Moody
was in her lap, licking her face and tears away. “What would I do without you?”
whispered Chandini.
“Stop crying for the
ba##ard,” she kept muttering to herself. “Just stop it.” In hindsight, Chandini
had been dreading this moment…somehow she always knew it would never last. But
being a die-hard optimist and one that took risks, sometimes unnecessary ones
in life…she always kept the window of hope alive. But it was not to be and she
gave out a harsh laugh!
Flinging the phone on
the bed, Chandini decided to not think anymore and felt she needed a breath of
fresh air and maybe a long walk to clear her head. Hurriedly throwing on a pair
of jeans and a clean sweatshirt, Chandini looked for her sneakers, while for a
change Moody watched all her actions without the usual excitement and tail
wagging and barking. Grabbing her keys, she stepped out into the cool breeze
with Moody in tow, tugging at his leash as he always did. “When will you learn
to walk Moody?” questioned Chandini while bending down to tie her shoelaces.
She suddenly remembered she had left her phone inside but decided against going
back into the house to get it even though she was certain her Mother would call
as she usually did in the mornings. “Aaah loved ones… What would we do without
them?” she thought.
Walking through the
cobbled streets, Chandini headed towards their favourite trail. Boy was she
thankful that she had taken the decision to move to Kasauli, even though many
were not happy with her decision of living in solitude. She had also spent all
her precious savings in buying the quaint property that was now her home – a
small cottage but spacious enough to live comfortably and one that even boasted
of a garden. But she never regretted her decision as this is where she felt
totally at peace and was able to pursue her passion for writing.
The mystic beauty and
charm of Kasauli always drew Chandini back again and again. Away from the
maddening chaos and hustle-bustle of city life, this surreal destination was
exactly what Chandini needed. Paradise on earth and she felt blessed indeed.
Her handful of neighbours scattered around were nice…a mixed bunch and everyone
minded their own business. Chandini could hear Mrs. Sood yelling at her
gardener. “That will never change,” she thought to herself. Ben, her nutty and
eccentric Dutch painter best friend waved to her and beckoned her to join him.
“In a bit,” she yelled back and quickly looked away for he knew her only too well
and would notice her expressions. But Ben knew something was up as he had
caught the distress in her eyes and his heart broke thinking of the worst
possible scenario in his mind. But he knew he had to wait for her to talk.
“Later then,” Ben bellowed after her in his hoarse voice.
Moody pulled her
towards the bushes while she wistfully stared at the profusion of wild flowers,
greenery, and thick forests of pine, oak and horse-chestnut around her. The air
was fresh and echoed of quiet serenity. The silence was only broken by the
calls from birds and chattering of squirrels and monkeys. She thought back to
the last few weeks… Yes, it had only been two months since she had met Viraaf.
They had connected instantly…mutual attraction, the electric undercurrents between
them and the ease at which they had fallen in love. This was the one time when
she had realised and felt what ‘Love at First Sight’ meant. It had hit her with
such a force that she had never quite recovered to understand how fast the
relationship had moved forward to dizzying heights.
“How does one pull the
brakes on something that felt so right,” Chandini thought to herself. Viraaf
had been nothing short of playing his role to the hilt. Attentive, showering
Chandini with gifts, making her laugh, sitting endlessly for hours talking
about life, wining and dining her in Chandigarh, and successfully sweeping her
off her feet with an unbridled passion. He had told her straight up that he was
married…stuck in a loveless marriage that was suffocating him. The warning
bells in her head had gone off then but she had just brushed them off when he
reassuringly had repeated day after day that the days ahead would only be about
them being together and celebrating life as one.
She never thought of
herself as a ‘marriage breaker’ or the ‘other’ woman and felt very guilty about
being with Viraaf at first. But hearing about his life and marriage made her
think that why shouldn’t two people who love each either and are right for each
other be given a chance? That was fair thinking too, wasn’t it? They deserved
new beginnings…dreams turning into reality…and possibilities of living life on
their terms.
Their time together
had flown past with both of them balancing work and meetings and
responsibilities and spending precious moments in all the madness. Chandini had
finished her research for her next book while Viraaf had managed to get the
teething problems ironed out of his new office being set up. Reality always
lands with a thud and so they finally discussed the way ahead and how they
would work on their new life together. Viraaf had assured her that divorce
would not be a problem as Ananya led her own life and was in any case sick and
tired of him. Having no kids made it look all the more easy.
Their goodbye was
rather dramatic and they parted ways tearfully and with heavy hearts but both
looking forward to their time ahead. And that’s when the nightmare began… Other
than his, “Landed” message on WhatsApp three days back, there had been no
further communication. She knew she had to be careful while messaging him, and
in giving him time to sort things out but this was unexpected and so out of the
blue. Chandini finally sat on one of the stray, unpainted and rusty benches and
wept her heart out. Moody looked perplexed with all the sobbing but stuck close
to her, occasionally whimpering or putting his paw across her lap.
Hours later, with
renewed determination and a new found strength Chandini decided to let it all
go and move ahead. All her life she had believed that things always happened
for the best and that this one was another incident that needed to be seen in
the same light. “It is going to be alright Moody… You just watch,” she said
loudly to Moody who gave the impression he understand every word uttered.
Brushing off the dust
from the bench and with a deep breath, Chandini yet again, pushed this episode
at the back of her mind…in the darkest corner of her memories that she never
ever visited again. There was so much more to look forward to and she was
ready. Thank goodness, not many knew about Viraaf and she had the good sense to
be secretive for a change.
Pushing open Ben’s
creaky gate, she yelled, “Hello… I need some strong coffee, preferably with a
shot of whisky and I need it now!” Freeing Moody from his leash, and watching
Moody bounce into the house, Chandini freed herself from the shackles of her
past as well and walked in with a cheery smile.
–END–
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