Excerpt: A popular author chooses to publicise her new novel in a unique way; by telling a story about herself. A story without a perfect ending, a story that makes everyone recollect the fond memories of their first love.
PRESENT DAY
She walked up the
stage and took her place at the podium. She looked at the captivated audience
in front of her and smiled. “I know that you all expect me to read a paragraph
from my book and get this over with.” There was appreciative laughter at her dialogue.
“But that’s not what I am going to do. Today, I’m not here to simply promote my
book. I’m not here just to pick out the best paragraph from my novel and
narrate it. I’m not here just to make you believe that this book deserves being
a bestseller. I am going to do this a bit differently. Today, I’m going to tell
you a story.”
TEN YEARS AGO
She was being
unrealistic.
She repeated the
sentence over and over again, hoping it would sink in at some point. She blamed
all the mushy Bollywood movies and fairy tales for her current state. Hans
Christian Anderson and Yash Chopra had collectively ruined her life. She had
started longing for her own soulmate now; the kind of guy who would just sweep
her off her feet and nothing would be the same anymore. Every love story has
its own unique beginning. Hers was the notification symbol blinking against the
cell phone screen. Yes, he had accepted her friend request.
So what? We have so
many mutual friends. Almost everyone accepts requests based on mutual friends
nowadays. He probably doesn’t even remember me. Why would he? We live in two
completely different worlds now.
She looked at his
display picture grinning in front of her eyes and shook her head slightly. They
went to the same high school. They were in the same class. And yet they
couldn’t have been more apart from each other. People simply assumed that
school days were the times when everyone was friends with each other. The
entire school was one big happy family. Her mother would randomly refer to
people in her school as ‘your friend so-and-so’ and she would remain silent,
not bothering to clarify. High school was a place full of cliques and each
clique was a small world within itself. And of course, in the typical cliché
way, she had fallen for the ring-leader of the popular crowd.
She watched him enter
the classroom and greet everyone heartily like always. He walked through the
row of benches, chatting and laughing with everyone in his way. His eyes
flitted across the classroom and stopped at her. That one glance was enough to
set her heart thudding hard against its rib-cage. And that was it. Even before
she had managed to gain a control over herself, he had joined his gang and
become the centre of their attention. She closed her eyes and leaned her head
against the cool wall. It was so unfair that a look which could affect one
person so much meant nothing to the other one. Unrequited love had been very
smartly named as a crush. The term almost made her laugh. It suited everything
so perfectly. He crushed her heart, everytime she looked at him. And being the
masochist that she was, she fell for him all over again.
They used to be best
friends. She wondered if he even remembered that. The teacher had assigned him
a seat next to hers in fifth grade. Technically it was only 5 years ago but in
a world where people changed their personalities day by day, it seemed like
another era altogether. She clearly remembered how he had turned to smile at
her and had said,” It’s going to be a fun year.”
And he couldn’t have
been more right. It was one of the most memorable times of her life. It was the
time when she spent every single moment of the day with him; be it cycling to
school together, playing in the recess, going to drawing class, sipping
chocolate milkshakes in the evenings. He was her best friend, her first
priority.
She had known and still
remembered those little details about him. As she looked at him laughing in the
corner with his arm resting casually on the shoulder of one of the girls, she
wondered whether he still buttered his bread on both sides while making a
sandwich. She wondered if he still listened to that old romantic Hindi songs cd
which he would stuff into his wadrobe everytime his friends came over; if he
still secretly preferred long walks to video games, if he still wore mismatched
socks to exams because he believed it was lucky for him, if he still spent
Thursday evenings with his grandmother and missed cricket practice. She must
have been staring too obviously cause he looked into her eyes once again, this
time to hold her gaze. She stared at him magnified, her lips letting out a
small sigh. She looked at him at wondered, if even after all these years, she
still stood a chance with him.
“I thought we were
supposed to be doing the assignment together, not logging on Facebook.” She
ignored her best friend’s words as she scrolled through the chat list. There
was that green signal flashing against his name. She clicked on his name and
waited for the chat window to open. Taking a deep breath, she typed ‘hi.’
“Are you even
listening to me?” Her friend slid on the chair next to her and peeped at the
screen. “Ooooh it’s Mister Soulmate huh? Does he remember you exist?” She
sighed impatiently, without looking away from the screen. “Sometimes I think
you know too much about my life, Pri.” Her best friend laughed, gazing at the
screen along with her, and suddenly let out a squeal. “OMG he’s typing!”
“I can see that.”
Inwardly, she wanted to scream even louder than Priya but she controlled
herself. It’s just chatting. Calm down.
Him : Hey
Her : What’s up?
Him : Geometry
assignment. What about you?
“That’s what we are
supposed to be doing too,” Priya sighed.
Her : I’m watching a
movie.
Him : Cool which one?
Her : Skyfall
Priya snorted.
“Seriously?” She nodded. “Shut up. It’s his favourite.”
Him : Wow I didn’t
know you are a fan of action movies.
Her : There’s a lot
you don’t know about me.
“Aren’t you being a
bit too obvious?”
“I have been crushing
on him since forever and he hasn’t even noticed. Obvious is the only way to
go.”
Him : Maybe because
you have never given me a chance to find out.
“Is he actually
flirting back?” Priya asked in shock.
She herself was too
stunned by his response to get insulted by Priya’s obvious disbelief.
Her : Maybe because I
didn’t think you wanted a chance.
Him : It’s time for
everyone to stop assuming they know what I want.
She stared at the
screen, speechless for a moment. She hadn’t expected such a deep response.
Him : I’m sorry. That
was a little over dramatic.
Her : You don’t have
to say sorry. That’s life. It tends to be over dramatic.
Him : Your life looks
remarkably peaceful though.
Her : The grass is
always greener on the other side.
Him : Hmm..I guess no
one is as carefree as they seem huh?
Her : Nothing’s too
depressing that can’t be fixed with strawberry jam, right?
Him : What?
Her : Nothing, forget
it.
Him : No I want to
know.
Her : It’s just….a
really long time ago.
Him : I used to say
that. I can’t believe you remember.
Her : I do.
She tapped her feet
against the ground at looked at her phone screen impatiently. It had been two
whole minutes since she had sent the message.
Him : Hey I’m sorry I
have to go. It has been fun catching up with you.
She stared at the
screen blankly, unable to think of a response. This was it? This was his
reaction to the fact that she remembered little details about him. Priya peered
into the screen above her shoulder. “Fun catching up? That’s really formal.
What did you do?”
“Nothing!” she
protested. Priya scrolled up and read the previous messages.
“Uhhh dude stalk much?
Stop being so desperate!”
“I love him Pri! If
that makes him desperate, so be it.” Priya raised an eyebrow at her best
friend.
“Babe you two hardly
interact with each other. This can’t be love.”
“I can’t get him out
of my mind. It’s been five years and I still can’t move on. If this isn’t love,
then what is it?”
Priya just looked at
her wordlessly. She sighed and looked at the feeble goodbye she had typed in
reply. It was a messed-up world.
She was making a
mistake. Everyday she repeated those words to herself but they refused to sink
into her head. Just one look at him and all her firm resolves crumbled. It had
all started on the day after their first online conversation. He had sauntered
into the classroom in his usual style. She had been looking at him from the
corner of her eye, in her usual style. But this time when
their eyes met, he had actually smiled at her. A real smile with his eyes
crinkling up at the corners and that dimple popping in his left cheek. She had
been too stunned to react but managed to pull her lips up in what she hoped to
be a decent smile.
They started chatting
often after that. Their conversations were about anything and everything. From
mundane topics like their daily schedule and school to deep ones like secret
ambitions and the purpose of their lives. Facebook and texting was converted to
conversations at school. If their classmates noticed anything unusual, then
they didn’t bother to gossip. Or maybe she wasn’t accessible to the popular
gang’s gossip. Even if they did talk about her, she didn’t care. She got to be
with him and that was all that mattered.
Winter vacations were
going on. She would have eagerly welcomed the break if it did not mean not
seeing him everyday. She willed herself to not check her phone and see if he
had replied. It had been three days since their last conversation. She hated
that she was constantly checking his ‘last seen at’ and yes, he had logged in
just five minute ago. Yet she couldn’t stop herself. This sinking feeling to
find absolutely no communication from him was becoming unbearable, almost
torturous. And then, just as she sat down in her chair, her phone vibrated.
With her heart thudding in her ear, she unlocked her phone and stared at the
screen. Finally! It was his message. But when she opened it and read it, she
nearly stopped breathing. She didn’t know if he was joking or not. What was
this?
Him : I am moving to
the States tomorrow.
This was not possible.
He couldn’t suddenly move to another freaking continent. They had just become
friends. There was still such a long way to go. She hadn’t even got a chance to
tell him how she felt about him yet. Their story couldn’t end even before it
had begun.
Her fingers trembled
as she hurriedly dialed his number. He picked up at the first ring. “Hello.”
Even without seeing his expression, she could feel his anguish. It must be so
hard to suddenly leave your entire life, your school, your friends behind. Even
for someone as outgoing as him, leaving your entire life behind couldn’t be
easy.
“I need to meet you,”
she whispered, trying not to let the pain slip into her voice.
“I can’t.” His voice
broke at the last word. “My parents are making me pack up. It’s been so crazy.
Dad suddenly got a huge offer which is supposed to be a really big deal. We are
moving tomorrow, can you believe that? Moving to a whole new country! I am
supposed to leave everything behind. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye
to everybody. I have been fighting with my parents all day long. And now I’m
tired….I’m just so tired of everything.” She felt tears stream down her cheeks
as she listened to him break down.
“I don’t care I’m
coming. I need to meet you.” She didn’t bother to hide her sobs this time. She
looked at the clock against her wall. It was already late. She knew her parents
well enough to guess that she wouldn’t be allowed out of the house at this
time. She scrutinized her window, wondering if she could slide out between the
grills and climb down the pipe. Wow, she really had been watching too many
romcoms!
“You can’t come to my
house at this time. It’s too late.” He interrupted her trail of thoughts. She
sighed. Of course. Always the gentleman! “I have got an early morning flight
tomorrow. Do you think you can come then?”
“Yes!” she exclaimed.
“Anytime! I will be there!”
“You don’t understand!
You have to let me go!” She was well aware that she was screaming on top of her
lungs. Her first grand sneak out and she had got caught. Why didn’t she
remember that this was the time her father did yoga? “It’s 5 o’ clock in the
morning! You can’t roam on the streets alone at this time!” her father
reprimanded sternly. “I am not roaming alone. Aarush is going to be there with
me.”
“Oh wow so you are
going to be roaming with a strange guy? That makes it so much better!” her
father said, sarcastically.
“Don’t you get it?
He’s leaving! He won’t be coming back! This is my very last chance.” She was
crying out hysterically now.
“That doesn’t mean you
go out to meet him now. Talk to him on the phone later. And stop screaming just
because you don’t get to meet a friend.”
“He is NOT a friend! I
love him, okay? I am in love with him!” This earned her a slap against her
cheek.
“Have you lost your
mind? This is not the age to think about such things. You are supposed to be
focussing on your board exams right now. Some random boy cannot brainwash your
mind and ruin all your chances of getting into a good college. It is a good
thing that he’s leaving. You can forget about him now and focus on your
studies.”
She sank down on the
floor, in a bundle of sobs. Her hands were clutching a crumbled note, pouring
out her feelings for him. The note she had meant to give him today. The note
with a ‘I love you’ written in bold. But this was it. It was over before it had
begun. It was too late.
TODAY
She looked at the
audience in front of her, who were staring at her with bated breath. “I know
what you all are thinking. You are waiting for the happy-ending. You are
waiting for an ending where he comes back after all these years and we end up
together. An ending where he realizes that he loves me too and we make things
work. But I’m sorry that’s not how this story ends. I was right when I said it
was over. It was too late. We spoke online for a few times, a few phone calls
but that was it. It was pretty clear that he was going to settle down there and
I was continuing with my education in India. We lost touch. I don’t know where
he is anymore. I never searched for him. He never found out how I felt about
him.”
She scanned the crowd
in the front of her and smiled at their confused expressions. “I can understand
what’s going on in your mind. You must be thinking this is a stupid story if
the hero and heroine don’t end up together. But that’s not true, you know? Love
doesn’t always mean two people who end up together. Love doesn’t always
symbolize a perfect ending. Love is reality. Sometimes it hurts, it wounds you,
it causes you pain but throughout the journey it makes you learn. I learnt not
to wait around for things to happen. I learnt not to be afraid of saying what’s
on my mind. I learnt how to open myself up to people. I learnt how to love
unconditionally, with my entire heart and soul. I learnt that the only risks
are the chances which you don’t take.”
Her eyes stopped at a
person in the crowd and her smile widened. “I found true love after all. I
learnt that in spite of how much it hurt the first time, I was willing to give
love a second chance. And that’s how I met my amazing husband Gaurav who has
encouraged my immensly throughout my journey of writing this book.” She took a
deep breath and continued. “So this book isn’t about a perfect fairy-tale
couple. It isn’t about two epic lovers. It is a book about reality. It is a
book about life. Life, which isn’t always fair. Life, which doesn’t always have
happy endings. Life, which often causes you agony, which often makes you want
to die, which often makes you want to end everything for once and for all. It
is a book which will tell you that no matter how unbearable life gets, you
still have a reason to hold on.
She was engrossed in
the thunderous applause to notice the man in the last row stand up slowly. He
had a content smile of his face. The same smile which crinkled at this eyes,
causing a dimple to pop out of his left cheek. He watched her husband run up to
the stage and embrace her proudly. He watched her smile in her husband’s arms
and then look at the crowd with a satisfied smile. He watched her eyes flicker
to the poster of her hugely successful novel. His hand slid to his pocket from
where he pulled out an old crumpled note.
A note which said ‘I
love you’ in bold. A note which he had meant to give her during their last
meeting. A note which told her how he had fallen for the shy, sweet girl right
from the moment their teacher assigned their seats together. A note which
confessed how he could easily talk to everyone but talking with her always made
him nervous. A note which described how excited he had got when she had
remembered every little detail about their time together. He folded the note
and placed it back. He watched her laugh freely and walked towards the door.
She had described everything about love so perfectly but she had missed out one
important point. He turned for the last time and felt content as he looked at
her happy expression. Love teaches you to be strong enough to let go.
–END–
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